So I have recently been struggling with my choices regarding Annabelle. I did what was best at the time but didn't think it would mean that she was out of my life forever. My ex won't return my calls, although it probably doesn't help that I didn't have his new number, or my emails or even my facebook messages. He hates me, and he has every right to. He however doesn't not have every right to keep my daughter from me.
The thing he never quite understood that it was never Annabelle I didn't want it was him. And I knew she would be better off staying with him while I tried to get my life together. He never could understand the statement "we are split up" no matter how many times I said it he wanted to deny it. I was the crazy one, I was the one completely in the wrong. I was in the process of finding a roommate when Mr. Right walk into the picture. It's not like I planned it or saw it coming.
But shame on me, she was so young. She never got a chance to know me. And now that she does she is denied it. She has a half sister and brother and a step sister who would love to get to know her but will never get the chance. Because Ex's pride is in the way.
I will be the first to admit it. I was wrong. A complete and utter idiot for leaving her. But it was what was right for her. I could apologize until I am blue in the face. But none of that will change the fact that my daughter is being raised my another woman and has no idea I exist. I'm worse than The Baby Killer. At least her spitting image remembers her.
I am praying for a change. And I am praying for a chance to know my daughter and for her to know me. I don't know what will happen, but I won't give up hope. Someday she'll resent him for keeping me from her. And someday she'll know that her real mother never gave up hope and always loved her, regardless of what her father has told her. I just wanna see my Annabellie
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