I feel as if lately I have been growing a lot as a person. I guess it feels most like I am relating less and less with younger people and more and more with "adults". Don't get me wrong I am still a weirdo and act like the biggest tard at times but I definitely feel like I am starting a new chapter in my life.
I took a big step today, I sent my step father a letter of apology. I have known for some time now (since I got sober) that it was something that I needed to do but I was still to hurt and filled with anger. For the first time I saw things from his side. I realized how hard it is to be a step parent and a good one at that and how difficult I was a kid. I apologized for my actions but didn't take responsibility for his actions, which was hard for me. I tend to take responsibility for to much. He was a complete and total ass to me and he was the "adult" so technically he should have known better, but I do understand it was hard and I made things even more difficult. I just hope this step will lead us in the right direction. We have (him more than I) been at each others throats for some time now and it just doesn't make any sense to keep it up.
I hope this new chapter I am starting leads me down a less destructive and more productive path than I have been on before. I really feel like I finally have my head on straight and can see past all the prior bullshit. The future is wide open and I can't wait to embrace it!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Ode to Mother
You left me alone in this world.
With no hope for my broken soul.
I have risen above that, I have found strength through pain.
I was hurled into this world without a clue.
But I know who I am once again.
Someday you will see past the curtain that blinds you.
Someday you will be released from the chains that have bound you.
Someday you will know me again, you will see that I am still as much apart of you as you are of me.
As you turn your view from me
And walk away from your faults and fears.
I will continue to call your name
In hopes that someday you will gather up the reins of the past and lead us into the future.
Someday you will see past the curtain that blinds you.
Someday you will be released from the chains that have bound you.
Someday you will know me again, you will see that I am still as much apart of you as you are of me.
You can't hide who you are from me.
I won't give up hope.
I won't let you fail me.
Someday you will see past the curtain that blinds you.
Someday you will be released from the chains that have bound you.
Someday you will know me again, you will see that I am still as much apart of you as you are of me.
Someday we will be whole again...
With no hope for my broken soul.
I have risen above that, I have found strength through pain.
I was hurled into this world without a clue.
But I know who I am once again.
Someday you will see past the curtain that blinds you.
Someday you will be released from the chains that have bound you.
Someday you will know me again, you will see that I am still as much apart of you as you are of me.
As you turn your view from me
And walk away from your faults and fears.
I will continue to call your name
In hopes that someday you will gather up the reins of the past and lead us into the future.
Someday you will see past the curtain that blinds you.
Someday you will be released from the chains that have bound you.
Someday you will know me again, you will see that I am still as much apart of you as you are of me.
You can't hide who you are from me.
I won't give up hope.
I won't let you fail me.
Someday you will see past the curtain that blinds you.
Someday you will be released from the chains that have bound you.
Someday you will know me again, you will see that I am still as much apart of you as you are of me.
Someday we will be whole again...
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